Friday, July 13, 2007

How to Sit in a Mall

Those of my friends who have left Kanpur recently will be mighty disappointed to know that we now have a new mall and multiplex in the city. Just a few days ago, my friends and I had the good fortune or visiting this awesome place. The mall, due to its unique design done in steel which is left quite uncovered for our viewing pleasure, looks quite like an Indian railway station. Though, it is cleaner and whiter.

Only a few shops are operation in the mall right now. One of my friends wanted to buy a few clothes. Since we are men and it is highly unmanly to support fellow men in their shopping, we left him to the mercy of shrewd salespeople and sat down in the atrium. I was in a jolly mood. I that jolly mood I slipped off my chappals (which, mind you, were of a perfectly respectable make) and folded my legs in the lotus position.

(C) Deviant

So there we are, three friends, deep in meditative conversation, oblivious of even the pretty young girls around us, when a meek little security guard (those private ones, whose sole purpose is to start running at the slightest sign of danger so that others can get the cue and save themselves) approached us. And he asked me to put my legs down.

Yes, he asked me to put my legs down. Apparently, one cannot sit in the lotus position in a mall. However, on second thoughts it does seem quite reasonable, isn’t it?

After all, it is village idiots and uneducated dolts who sit that way. What right do mall visitors have to display that kind of behavior?

That wasn’t the only funny thing that happened that day. After having surveyed the mall to their hearts content, my friends were very disappointed with the crowd. As they came to the conclusion that our visit had been pointless, one of them said (translated into English as faithfully as possible) – “What yaar, opened the mall they have, but the crowd is still all those UPites and Biharis!”

As it turns out, one of my friends is from Allahabad and the other is from Patna!


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. he he! I guess soon oxford too will carry the word Bihari not meaning ppl from bihar but standing for ppl who are err....well....just Biharis.....ha ha