News Update: found ants in my water bottle. I woke them up from their early morning slumber, only to send them straight to hell. Don’t wince. If you had as many bugs in your room as I do, you’ll lose all respect for insect life. My new room sucks yet again.
Khair, as I say, getting down to business. I shall talk about hacking today. No not teach you it, per se, but tell you a few things about the psychology of hackers. You see, I’m a psychology expert too.A few of my friends hack and I’ve never learnt anything from them. First of all they talk in jargon which goes way over my head. Second, they are so secretive about their stuff that they seldom tell you anything useful. They have to be. Hacking is serious offence. I remember a hacker friend once talking in such low tones (outdoors and in complete desolation) that I thought he had gone mad and was mumbling to himself.
So why do hackers hack?
Hacking gives them power. Or at least, the illusion of it. They control every machine on the network. They have access to all the data. They can read you mail and look into your private files. They may upload porn into your girlfriend’s folder and name it the Lesbian Spank Inferno (cf. Coupling 104 Inferno). They can do anything to … er … your PC.
They suffer from the sniper syndrome. Just like a sniper sitting safely in his apartment in a high rise with French fries and coke and feeling his power over the passers by in the street down below, the hacker sits in the comfort of his room and has absolute power over the lesser mortals who cannot keep their PCs safe. A hacker takes pride in the fact that no one can find him. No one knows who he is. He will go to extremes to hide his identity over the network. He is in a constant game of one-upmanship against the system admin. He takes pride in the fact that the admin is a dolt and the hacker knows much, much more than him.
Yes, I just coined that word. I have coined another one – eOgling. But more about that later.
As my hacker friend says, with Awesome Power comes Awesome fun. A lot of post hacking time is spent in deriving this Awesome Fun. Peeking into emails, personal files, photos (yes, especially! (wink)) and affairs is what constitutes this awesome fun. Perhaps writing a prank email on your behalf and then following up on what happens. But the Awesomest fun comes when the admin is actually trying to nab you and you have so much access to his PC and email that you already know what he is planning and what he is doing. You are always one step ahead of him. So unless the admin starts using pen and paper to keep his notes there is no way he can get at you. Isn’t that fun!